nips and things
by the blanket
Summary: Gift!fic for Pina. SasuSaku. He opened his mouth to attempt an explanation, but was silenced when she lunged at him, straight out of the shower and stuck her tongue halfway down his throat.


**title: **nips and rings**  
pairing:** Sasuke/Sakura  
**for:** Pina, who is the best writing partner a girl could ask for. Thank you for your patience, even despite my ridiculous inability to just Stay. Online.

And for being just plain—never _just plain, _but you get me—WINsome. Yeah.

Seriously. _Seriously._

(andomgforFANGIRLINGRIDICULOUSLYWITHME.)

**prompt:** Sasuke; pierced nipple

**summary: **He opened his mouth to attempt an explanation, but was silenced when she lunged at him, straight out of the shower, and stuck her tongue halfway down his throat.

**notes:** **OOC **warning. Um, but there's a reason—a poorly contrived one, but a reason nonetheless. :D

Also, I noticed that when I write gift!fic for someone, I end up using their format.

DDDD:

**disclaimer:** Dude. No.

* * *

Muted whispers. 

Hushed stares.

A dark room, heady with smoke and shadow.

A lithe, beautiful dancer, all wet lips, and twitching hips, moving sinuously on top of the bar. Shirt off, hands high, the motions as fluid, as sensuous, as water.

It was a scene out of any man's favorite porno.

Almost.

Naruto rolled his eyes, and sighed, resigned to a night of playing babysitter for a drunken—.

"Sasuke. Get off the bar. People are trying to get smashed."

-

**nips and rings**

-

Sasuke flailed—drunkenly—in the circle of Naruto's arms.

"Get the hell off, moron! I wasn't _done_ yet!"

Naruto heaved a long-suffering sigh, and cursed Sasuke to the nearest hell for being such a damned lightweight. Seven shots, and he was done? For someone like Sakura or Hinata, that would have been enough, but considering his height and weight…

Ugh.

He wrapped his arm tighter around the other man's waist, and prayed that all of the NSRRFC—the NaruSasu RabuRabu Fan Club, devoted to exploring the possible romantic relationship between the Hokage-in-training and his ANBU best friend, and sometimes rival—were already asleep.

The last thing he needed was another book of YAOI sex-tips arriving at his doorstep.

He'd no idea that even his precious Hinata-chan harbored such…deviant fantasies.

Sasuke, who had apparently grown bored in the midst of the blond's internal hoping-and-dreaming, had taken to counting street signs. If he hadn't been so annoyed, Naruto would have been amused. Sasuke was a hilarious drunk.

"You're a pain in the ass, you know that?"

Sasuke glared at him half-heartedly.

"S'kura doesn't think so. She _looooooves _me and my body."

Naruto snorted.

"I'm sure she does, you bastard."

"She loves my hair, and my eyes, and my ass, and my arms, and my co—"

Naruto had heard enough. He shook his head to rid it of the ensuing mental images, and slapped a hand over Sasuke's mouth.

"In a few minutes," the blond said, half-irritated, half-amused, "I'm going to take my hand off of your mouth. You are not going to talk for the rest of this walk. Is that understood?"

Sasuke glared, but nodded his head sulkily. Naruto sighed, and braced himself—

"And she loves my pecs. Yeah."

He turned to Naruto, a quizzical expression on his face.

"Hey, Naruto."

"…what, Sasuke?"

"Why do men have nipples?"

Naruto tripped over air.

-

"Seriously?"

"Yeah…why? Is that weird?"

"Um, coming from you? I think the words I'm looking for here are _hell yes_. What say you girls?"

"Sorry. I'm going to have to go with Ino on this one."

"Me too. It _is_ a little odd, Sakura. You must admit that, at least."

A snort.

"OK. So Ino has an underwear fetish—"

"Yeah, and?"

"Tenten likes to watch Neji eat ramen noodles—"

"It's his _tongue_, dammit!"

"—and Hinata, you're obsessed with boy-love."

"You must admit, the,_um_, aesthetically pleasing qualities of the male anatomy—"

"Yeah. _Right._ Anyway, point is, all of you have got the weirdest…quirks. And_ I'm_ odd because I happen to like body modification? Tell me how that makes any sense."

"It's not _body modification_. That isn't what you said. Tattoos are hot, Sakura. But you…"

"What she's trying to say is…you like _piercings_."

"Yeah. _Nipple piercings_."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…oh, shut up."

_-_

"S'kura likes my nipples."

Naruto heaved yet another long-suffering sigh. Where the hell was Sakura, anyway? Wasn't carting Sasuke back home after he'd tossed his cookies—and all his dignity—to the wind, _her _responsibility?

"Whatever."

Sasuke turned to watch the shops pass them by. When he caught sight of the name of one of them, his eyes lit up.

"Naruto! Let's go_ there._"

The blond looked up.

"The Piercing Pagoda…Sasuke, why would we—Sasuke?"

Naruto looked around for a bit, before he heard a familiar voice at the counter.

"…early Christmas gift…girlfriend loves…told me…drunk…age…yeah…both…"

_Oh shit._

_-_

"ARRGH!"

"You idiot, I think you broke my fingers!"

-

"What was that noise?"

"Probably Kakashi finding out that the news shop's out of Icha Icha."

-

Sasuke woke up with a start. He blinked his eyes, still bleary with sleep and sat up, wincing when his head violently protested his sudden movement.

_Why do I hurt so much?_

Rubbing his eyes, he stood up and made his way to the bathroom, heedless of his shirtless-state. Sakura, after all, had seen him in a lot less. He heard the shower running and smirked. Quietly, he opened the door, and—

"Sasuke?"

He smirked at the blush on her face. After everything they'd already done, she was still—

"Are those nipple rings?"

…_what._

"…"

He opened his mouth to

(pretend he knew how the hell they'd gotten there, and)

attempt an explanation, but was silenced when she lunged at him, straight out of the shower and stuck her tongue halfway down his throat.

_-_

**FIN.**

* * *

MERRY CHRISTMAS, PINA! 

_(HEARTHEARTHEART)_


End file.
